Conflicting thoughts

 This past year has been a strange one for everyone in the arts including myself and having hip surgery last October in the midst of it all has made me view my practice in a different way. Spending time looking deeper into my practice and my experiences in the arts industry during module 1 and having so much extra time to think, upon returning to the studio I'm finding it much harder to block out the toxic environment surrounding me. 

Taking time out and away from the studio to focus on my recovery I was surrounded by more non-dancers than dancers which enabled me to view my practice from an outside perspective. Talking to these people made me realise how negative, degrading and medieval the arts industry can be and how more dancers and directors need to start trying to change what has become "normal" for dancers around the world. 

One of the many issues within the dance world is how companies exploit young professionals. Unpaid contracts should not be a thing. Once a dancer has graduated from school and become a professional they should be treated as one. Yes, it is understandable that more experienced dancers receive higher pay but that is not justification for treating your younger dancers like modern day slaves. Young dancers, more often than not, are worked harder and put under more pressure than higher ranked company members yet often see no reward. We dance because we love it and we work to perform but at the end of the day love and passion for what we do isn't going to pay our bills and with long and exhausting work days its almost impossible to have a side-job especially if you're an international dancer on a visa with working restrictions like so many of us are. 

Another big issue that has really been getting to me recently is the demeanour in which ballet masters/mistresses conduct class and talk to their dancers. Being a ballet dancer there is always something to improve on but there is no reason for ballet masters to be condescending and patronising to their dancers. This has become more obvious to me as I have started teaching myself. To a certain extent one must be harsh to be helpful in order to instil discipline and promote hard work but there is a fine line between constructive criticism and bullying and it is one that should never be crossed. Telling your dancers that their work is "crap", that they are out of shape and will never be cast unless they "fix" their weight or shaming them for adjusting their workload in an attempt to preserve their already injured body isn't going to help them improve in any way and is quite frankly just verbal abuse. Putting these ideas in dancers heads is only going to diminish their confidence and self-esteem and is one if the many reasons that the mental health of so many dancers spirals. By saying these things to your dancers you are indirectly encouraging them to harm their minds and their bodies. 

In my opinion the best way to help your dancers improve is to drive their passion for their art. Treat your dancers and their bodies with respect and they will flourish. Ballet masters are there to help you grow so why do they spend so much time beating you down instead of pulling you up to new levels of artistry. 

It's these thoughts that have been floating round my mind recently and making me wonder why I still do what I do. Is it really worth all of the physical and mental pain? On the one hand I love what I do and am so grateful to be in a studio/on stage when so many are trapped in their houses but on the other hand I am so fed up with the general lack of willingness to reform the industry and promote more healthy and sustainable working environments that it is difficult for me to continue to give and sacrifice everything to an industry I don't fully support.

I understand that ballet is hard and in any industry there are things that need to be improved but it just seems counterintuitive to me that so few establishments are willing to promote positive and healthy working environments.