Passion for the art vs Pain of the industry

Ballet is like an addiction. You know it's not healthy; it's breaking breaking your body and destroying your mental health and you'd probably be better off without it, yet the thought of ever leaving the industry breaks your heart and is truly terrifying. You can't imagine your life without dance, it's who you are and all you've ever known. 

Young professionals and low ranked members of companies are essentially slaves to their art. Often extremely underpaid (if paid at all), and undervalued, recent graduates find themselves in a kind of battleground. They work their hardest with the hopes of one day being promoted or at least acknowledged for the part they play within the company but in the process lose their sense of self-worth and value. These dancers are essentially walking the line between student and professional- they are treated like students but expected to perform as professionals. They generally work longer hours than their higher-ranked counterparts and have the added pressure of being thrown into a different spot or role every rehearsal. They are expected to know every pattern, pathway and count for each different spot and be able to switch between them with a minutes notice and without hesitation. These are the dancers that many companies couldn't survive without but are treated as if they are superfluous. 

The environment many young professionals find themselves in is toxic. They are overworking their bodies and minds and receive minimal positive reinforcement or recognition for what they are doing. This environment creates the perfect breeding ground for mental and physical health issues. Young professionals and new artists feel the need to prove themselves to their directors because they are generally so undervalued. They work their bodies to and beyond their breaking points, dancing through injuries for fear of being deemed "unreliable". The attitudes of higher ranked members of the organisation towards them often leads dancers to feeling worthless and its not uncommon for this feeling of worthlessness to develop into depression or manifest in the form of disordered eating. At this stage in their careers many dancers lose their passion for the art but can't bring themselves to get help or remove themselves from the industry. Teachers and directors often justify their actions and comments by relating them to their own experiences. They tell you that "you've got it easy compared to my day" as they recount horror stories of being cut by their teachers nails and hit with a cane. They use the traditionalism of the art to justify what is essentially emotional (and sometimes physical) abuse and get away with for the simple reason that any student or professional knows that their scholarship or job could be taken away instantly for implying something bad about an organisation.

The process of reflecting on my practice through lens 2 has made me question the ethics and morality of the industry I'm in and made me realise how drastically in need of reform the ballet world is. Over the past few years there have been some big changes in the ballet world and the performing arts industry in general. As the stigma surrounding mental health begins to be questioned many artists are finally finding the courage to speak up about their experiences. This shift seems to be opening the eyes of many directors and things are beginning to change for the better in terms of the working environments dancers find themselves in. The industry is far from healthy but I guess there's hope that future generations won't experience the same levels of trauma as their predecessors.